All the things I should of said to you
by moonlightsoldier
Summary: A glimpse inside Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

All the things I should of said to you

Ok so often when I'm writing stories ideas come into my head that just doesn't fit in with the direction or tone of the story I'm writing and they sort of take a life of their own. This little gem is one of those ideas that just wouldn't let me rest until I wrote it down. IM still working on my other stories, the next chapter of a a very glee Halloween will be up soon, and I am also working on the next chapter of who would believe you?

DISCLAIMER; I don't own glee, although I wish, but I do borrow them from time to time. The song is when I was your man by Bruno mars

Santana pushed the covers off of her and swung her legs around so that she was sitting on the edge of her bed. The light from the moon filtered in through the blinds and she watched as shadows played on her bedroom wall. It took her a minute to gain control of her breathing, the dream had seemed so real. Too real, and she forced the image of Brittanys blue eyes out of her head.

" Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now, our song on the radio but it don't sound the same" She sang mournfully, her eyes swept over to the collage of pictures that hung on her wall above her bed but it was one picture in particular she was looking at. It was of Brittany at one of the countless parties they had been through over the years, the blonde was smiling lazily at the camera some jocks hat turned sideways on her head., " when our friends talk about you all it does it just tear me down, cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name"

She looked away from the picture in shame. She had really blown it this time. Brittany had all but said she was in love with her and all Santana had been able to do was smirk and say,' there aint no such thing as love'. The look on her best friends face had broken her heart but she had remained stone faced as usual until the blonde had just turned and walked away defeated. Santana had wanted to yell at her, to scream that she felt the same way, and so much more, but she just couldn't. Her fear had outweighed everything.

Tears threatened to fall and she thought if anybody at school saw her like this they probably would be in shock but contrary to popular belief she did have a heart and at this very moment it was breaking.

" It all just sounds like ooooooh, mhmm to young, too dumb, to realize" She glanced back at the picture her voice cracking, " That I should of bought you flowers, and held your hand, should of gave you all my hours when I had the chance, take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance"

The next morning she stepped through the doors of the school stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Brittany sitting on Arties lap, giving him the smile that was usually only reserved for her.

" Now my babys dancing but she's dancing with another man"

Blinking back her tears she made sure her HBIC glare was fully in place as she passed the two. She tried to ignore the urge to go push the boy down a fight of stairs when she heard a small giggle escape Brittany and pushed through the door to the girls bathroom. A few nameless students rushed out as soon as they realized it was her who walked in and for once she didn't appreciate the power she wielded at the school. She wished someone would look passed all her attitude, and her temper to actually care to ask if she were okay. She locked the door behind her.

" My pride , my ego, my needs and my selfish ways" She sang angry at herself, " Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life"

She pushed herself off the door and walked to the mirror. Staring at the mess of the girl who stared back at her, " It all just sounds like ooooooh, too young too dumb to realize"

" that I should of brought you flowers, and held your hand"

She cringed at the memory of all the times the blonde had tried to approach her in public, all the times she had smiled over at her with a tiny wink and Santana had acted as if hadn't affected her at all. The only time she had let the emotions show was when they had been drunk and she had the excuse of alcohol to blame in the morning light. God, how awful that must of made Brittany feel.

"should of gave you all my hours when I had the chance" She sang, " Took you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance, and now my babys dancing but she is dancing with another man"

She stood in front of the entire glee club. Her heart pounding, her hands nervously wringing each other as she stared at the only person that has ever mattered to her.

Brittany stared back For Santana everybody else faded away, and it was to her she sang.

" although it hurts I'll be the first to say I was wrong" She nervously wrung her hands, " and I know it's probably much too late, to try to apologize for my mistakes but I just want you to know"

The rest of the club came back into focus then. Quinn was looking at her with something like pride and mouthed the words ' you got this'. Rachel and Finn sat hand in hand both giving her encouraging looks. Mercedes and Kurt sat with their mouths open shocked at the display that was unfolding in front of them.

Santanas eyes flickered towards Artie for a moment before stepping closer to Brittany and singing, " I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand" A tear slipped from her eye and wiped it away with her fingertips, " gives you all his hours when he has the chance"

Tears welled in Brittanys blue eyes and she wanted nothing more then to take her into her arms and promise that she would never cry again. But she couldn't, it wasn't her place anymore.

" Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance" her voice cracked and she took a breath before singing the next line.

" Do all the things I should of done when I was your man"

Puck gave her a slight nod, and she could almost here him say' good job Lopez' but it was Brittany she watched intently and when the blonde lifted her head their eyes locked because Santana wanted her to know that she meant everything she was saying even if it didn't change anything.

" Do all the things I should of done when I was your man"

Kurt, Quinn, and Mercedes jumped to their feet in a standing ovation. Sam gave her a thumbs up, even Artie threw up his hand up in praise. Brittany sat still her eyes watching Santana.

Santana then did what she was best at. She ran.

A/N: So here you go, just a little random something, a one shot that I might add more to if there is any interest but even if not let me know what you think, your opinions are always welcomed


	2. Chapter 2

I almost do

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them , the song is almost do by taylor swift

Brittany sat on on of the lawn chairs her father had set up on the balcony outside her window. She stared up at the stars and suddenly wondered how life could get so complicated so fast " I bet this time of night your still up" Brittany sang, her voice was crisp and clear and pretty good for someone who was known for being a dancer, " I bet your tired from a long hard week"

Or she guessed when did it become so complicated with Santana " I bet your sitting in your chair by the window and I bet sometimes you wonder about me"

At least she hoped so.

" and I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you and I wish I could run to you" She pulled her knees to her chest," and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do, I almost do"

Santana drove through empty streets, no clear direction in sight, " I bet you think I moved on or hate you, cause every time you reach out there's no reply" she ran shaky fingers through her hair, " I bet it never occurred to you that I cant say hello to you, and risk another goodbye" Her eyes glanced to her cell phone.

" and I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you and I wish I could run to you and I hope you know every tine I don't I almost do, I almost do"

" Oh we made quite a mess babe" Santana sang, as she turned down yet another long stretch of road, " its probably best this way"

" and I must confess babe" Brittany sang using the pads of her finger to wipe away a stray tear, " In my dreams your touching my face and asking me if I want to try again with you" She closed her eyes, her voice cracking, " I almost do"

At school Santana walked through the halls passing Brittany and Artie as if she hadn't been crying over the blonde all night, " and I just wanna tell you it takes everything I have not to call you"

" and I wish I could run to you" Brittany sang as she watched Santana disappear into the crowd of people.

Once out of sight Santana leaned back against the wall and breathed deep, " and I hope you know every time I don't I almost do"

" I almost do" Brittany breathed. The bell rang.

The end


	3. Chapter 3

Fool for trying

DISCLAIMER: I do not own glee and the song is wasting all these tears on you by Cassidy pope

Brittany walked into glee with her head down. She knew Santana's eyes were on her as she made her way up to the piano and handed over sheet music to the kinda creepy piano player. She had only ever sung by herself in front of the club usually happy to just help plan choreography but she had something to say and sometimes it was easier to express through song. At least that is what she told herself as she stared out over the other glee kids. Rachel who had known what she was going to do gave her a smile of encouragement from where she sat beside Finn. She smiled back taking a deep breath.

The piano started up and after a few beats she sang, " I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle, laying on the bathroom floor" she was proud of herself for not letting her voice crack with emotion, " My loneliness was a rattle in the window, you said you don't want me anymore"

She knew the words were a little off from her situation. Although Santana hadn't told her that she didn't want her anymore she might as well have when she refused to go public with their relationship. Everytime Santana did this it pushed them a little farther apart. Brittany was tired of hiding, tired of feeling ashamed for having these feelings. It made her angry that Santana was too ashamed to be open, but mostly it just hurt.

She put all that emotion into her next words, " and you left me standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying, I don't even remember why Im wasting all these tears on you, I wish I could erase our memory"

She saw Santana flinch at those words.

" Cause you didn't give a damn about me, oh finally I'm through wasting all these tears on you"

" You aint worth another sleepless night" She sang, but she knew it was a lie. She would still sit up each night and wish that things could be different, that Santana would suddenly come climbing up to her window and tell her everything was going to be alright and the next day at school they would walk hand in hand through the halls of school, " and I'll do anything to keep you off my mind" she looked to Artie, she felt bad for not being able to love him the way that he loved her but at least he wasn't ashamed to be seen with her, and she did care for him, he knew what was up and accepted her and was with her anyway, " cause what you wanted I couldn't get" she just never understood how Santana could want to hide their love.

The rest of the glee kids watched on with wide eyes, and Rachel shot her a thumbs up sign. Santana sat with her head down.

" and you left me, standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying" and she did all those times she had begged for Santana to just talk to her about what was happening between them, all those times she had to hear Santana tell her it meant nothing, " I don't even remember why I;m wasting all these tears on you"

" I wish I could erase our memory cause you didn't give a damn about me" she sang her voice finally cracking, tears threatened to fall but she held them back refusing to shed anymore tears over this whole thing. She pushed the emotion out and laid it all in her lyrics, " oh finally I'm through wasting all these tears on you"

The music settled, and she used a softer voice for the next verse. This was to Santana. A question of how she could just let her go and she hoped the Latina understood.

" and you left me, standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying, I don't even remember why Im wasting all these tears on you"

She saw Santana shoulders start to shake for a moment before the girl composed herself and lifted her head. Their eyes locked.

" I wish I could erase our memory cause you didn't give a damn about me oh finally Im through wasting all my tears on you"

When she was finished Kurt and Mercedes jumped to their feet clapping. Rachel Ran over to her and wrapped her in a hug. Mike, Tina and Sam were whistling, Quinn just smiled at her.

" that was amazing Brittany" Mr. Schuster said nudging her shoulder, " looks like we have a new contender for solo spots"

Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes all rolled their eyes. But it was Santana that caught Brittanys attention as she slipped from the choir room.

Artie rolled up to her then, ' you ok babe?"

" I will be" she said smiling.


End file.
